ILA

How to be a Good Hotelier


An Hotelier must be a diplomat, a democrat, an autocrat, an acrobat, and a doormat.

He must have the facility to entertain Prime Ministers, princes of industry, pickpockets, gamblers, bookmakers, pirates, philanthropists, popsies and prudes.

He must be on both sides of the political fence, and be able to jump that fence.

He should be, or have been, a footballer, golfer, bowler, tennis player, cricketer, darts player, sailor, pigeon fancier, motor racer and linguist, as well as have a good knowledge of any other sport involving dice, cards, horse racing and billiards.

This is most useful, as he has sometimes to settle arguments and squabbles. He must, therefore, be a qualified boxer, wrestler, weight-lifter, sprinter and peacemaker.

He must always look immaculate, when drinking with the ladies and gentlemen mentioned in the second paragraph, as well as bankers, swankers, theatricals, commercial travellers and company representatives - even though he has just made peace between any of the two, four, six or more of the aforementioned patrons.

To be successful, an hotelier must keep the bar full, the house full, the store rooms full, the wine cellar full, the customers full, and not get full himself.

He must have staff who are clean, honest, quick workers, quick thinkers, non-drinkers, mathematicians, technicians, and at all times on the boss's side, the customer's side, and stay on the outside of the bar.

To sum up: The hotelier must be outside, inside, offside, glorified, sanctified, crucified, stupefied, cross-eyed - and if he is not the strong, silent type, there is always suicide.

With the courtesy of Henry Togna
Owner of hotel “22 Jermyn Street” - St James's - London.

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